Celebration of Whole Foods' (imagined) treatment of live lobsters they decided it was immoral to sell.
Bill Newton , Soprano Sax
Ed Butler , Percussion
FJ Ventre, Bass
Jon Shain, Banjo
Jon Shain, FJ Ventre - Lobster Chorus
Way down back of the Good Foods Store
They built us out an ocean floor:
That’s where we lucky lobsters love to loll.
They feed us scraps of hard salami,
chevre, olives, edamame.
Each day we’re on another kind of roll.
Pilgrims thought we were fertilizer;
Later gourmets learned to prize our
Springy sweet white flesh dry-brushed
With tangerine and salmon.
To sell us from captivity is wrong they say
But secretly, we think our great good fortune
Might have more to do with Mammon.
And could they grill us?
No no no...
And they couldn’t just kill us?
What would they tell
The tofu swells
And the friends of free range buffalo?
Pa got sold before our day:
At a dandy dinner in old Back Bay
In nutmeg, cream and brandy gladly met his destiny.
Now his shell’s out west some forty mile,
The rest of him has cleared Deer Island.
He’s back in the harbor singin’
Nearer my cod to thee.
And would they sell Us?
No no no!
Or braise and jell us?
They’ll have to keep us well, or we’ll cast our spell
And wilt all their radiccio.
Meanwhile my life’s like no other:
I play mah jongg with my twin brother;
We dance the quadrille, sing our songs
Till quarter after three.
Till morning then we fall asleep
On cobble in a happy heap:
Some jellyfish our night light
If we ever have to pee.
Old friends arrive from stores everywhere,
In sacks of rockweed
Next day air!
And could they poach us?
Too slow OO- eee.
They’re going to coach us, with
Yoga classes, meditation,
Ten step meetings,
Be all the lobster he or she can be....
Now lobster rhymes with dinner bell
For years at sea we’ve known this well.
We thought our last swim would be in
Some big blue speckled pot.
So every day, the chosen many,
We circle round, phase our antennae
With a lobster podcast live at noon
Give thanks for what we got.
Lucky lobsters live forever
Drinkin’ sparkling clementine.