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Celebration of Whole Foods' treatment of their lobsters after their sales ban...


Lucky Lobster Rag – Rick Drost

Way down back of the Good Foods Store
They built us out an Ocean Floor
That’s where we lucky lobsters love to loll
They feed us scraps of hard salami
Chevre, olives, edamame
Each day: we’re on another kind of roll.

Pilgrims thought we were fertilizer
Later Gourmets learned to prize our
Springy sweet white flesh dry-brushed
With Tangerine and Salmon
To sell us from Captivity is wrong they say
But secretly we think our great good fortune
Might ave more to do with Mammon

And could they Grill Us?
Mercy No…
Could they just Kill Us?
What would they tell
The tofu swells
And the friends of free range buffalo?

Pa got sold before our day
At a dandy dinner in old Back Bay
In nutmeg, cream and brandy gladly met his
Now His shell’s out west some forty mile
The rest of him has cleared Deer Island
Hee’s back in the harbor singin
Nearer my Cod to thee

And would they sell Us
No no no!
Or braise and Jell us?
They’ll have to keep us well
Or we’ll cast our spell
And wilt all their radiccio

Meanwhile my life’s like no other
I play mah jongg with my twin brother
We dance the quadrille, sing our songs
Till a quarter after three
Till morning then we fall asleep
On cobble in a happy heap
Some jellyfish our night light
If we ever have to pee

Old friends arrive from
Stores everywhere
In sacks of rockweed
Next day air:

Down in Chapel Hill, y’all
Liz Picked up a gentle drawl
Lil from Lincoln Park is always singin twist and shout
Lleyton’s back from Camden Town
His flight so long he almost drowned
And Leigh from Thousand Oaks is like
“Now what’s this all about?”

And could they poach Us?
Too slow OO eee
They’ll have coach us
With Yoga classes, meditation
Ten step meetings
Each crustacean’ll
Be all the lobster he or she can be….

Now lobster rhymes with dinner bell
For years at sea we’ve known this well
We thought our last swim would be in
Some big blue speckled pot
So every day, the chosen many,
We circle round, phase our antennae
With A lobster podcast live at noon
Give thanks for what we got

Singin Home, homard deranged
Where the rays and the seahorses play…

Have you seen my wife Davey Jones>

Swimmerets swimmerets Swimmerets swimmerets
Swimmerets swimmerets ah oh
Swimmerets swimmerets Swimerets swimmerets
Swimmerets swimmerets ah oh…..

In a watery cave somewhere
I’ll Shed my Shell and he’ll come There
Oh wouldn’t it be lobsterly….

Lucky lobsters live forever
Drinkin sparkling clementine